Everything but the Girl by Layce Gardner & Saxon Bennett

Author:Layce Gardner & Saxon Bennett [Gardner, Layce & Bennett, Saxon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Square Pegs Ink
Published: 2020-05-06T16:00:00+00:00

***

“I need to take another Polaroid and I need you to take a picture of my butt, so I’ll know if these jeans are my best ever.”

Joy was showing April Sanders yet another house. This was a split-level with a daylight basement and a large deck and a nice yard. Why April wanted such a large house for herself, Joy couldn’t figure. It had four bedrooms, a massive great room, and a completely remodeled kitchen that could easily host a large family, with a dining room.

“Do you have a lot of family?” she asked, dodging the butt photo request. Didn’t April have a best friend to do the honors?

“No, my mother is still alive, but we spend more time being estranged than we do speaking to one another,” April said blithely. “Now, let’s get that butt shot before I start shooting photos of the house.” April took extensive Polaroid pictures of the entire house she might potentially purchase. She told Joy she needed a visual of each house and for some reason unbeknownst to Joy she used a Polaroid instead of a digital camera. Joy didn’t want to get into it.

Joy wasn’t certain taking butt pictures fell under the real estate rules. Was there an ethical question regarding taking photos of a client’s butt? How far was she willing to go to sell a house? She was a goner as soon as April thrust the camera at her.

“Can’t you look in the mirror?” Joy asked.

“It doesn’t represent a clear picture of your butt because when you turn the shape of your gluteus maximus shifts. That’s why I need a photo.”

Joy wanted to ask her what she did with all these Polaroids. Were they pinned up on every surface in her apartment? Joy wasn’t completely certain that April ever intended to buy a house; perhaps she was lonely or had a dream of owning one of these high-end houses. She did have money. She was a trust fund baby who’d gained access to it upon her father’s death. According to April, she was a Daddy’s girl and he wanted to make sure she was well taken care of. Joy wondered if April had ever had a job.

April and her desire for a butt shot popped the balloon of Joy’s ruminations. “I’m ready,” she said, turning her back to Joy. “Please take two. I wanted to send one to my girlfriend.”

Girlfriend? That boded well. Lesbians were notorious nesters. Maybe not a four-bedroom house, but a two-bedroom with a built-in office seemed more appropriate. “Have you given any thought to that nice bungalow I showed you last month?” Joy asked.

“I need a lot of space and light. My girlfriend is a muralist, really, but needs a space to make large sketches and paintings in preparation of her work. She’s really coming into her own. Can I see the pictures yet?” April said, indicating the Polaroids.

“Muralist?”

“Sure, it’s her thing. I’m not much of a judge but she’s hot, I’ll learn.”

Joy studied April. The woman they had seen kissing Debra had been wearing a beret and a silk scarf.

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